Sunday, July 29, 2012

Keeping the Flame Burning

We did our best to fit all the tips we gathered on how to keep the flame burning in a marriage into the 5 minutes we were given. We ran over but I feel like we gave good tips. Thanks to everyone for your help in the comments.

It all boiled down to finding ways to stay connected to your spouse as a person not just as "mom" and "dad." We pointed out that the best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse (their other parent.)

The flame of marital love does wax and wan at different seasons of our life. When you are in the baby stage (pregnant or nursing) perhaps the physical connection may burn less brightly. The key is to stay connected in other ways during these times so you can keep your marital flame alive.

We broke down ways to connect in 3 categories: Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual.
Here are our notes about ways we can connect in those areas.

·      Take Trips Together
·      Or ship the kids off to do a staycation as a couple (plan some spice)
·      Touch your husband/wife. Hold hands. Scratch backs.
·      Women: say yes as much as you can.  Make physical intimacy a priority.  If you can schedule time during the day, do it because most of us are tired at the end of the night and do not give it the proper attention.
·      Be affectionate in front of the kids
·      Couple’s beds off limits to kids during night hours

·      Make a list of Random Questions to find out new things about your spouse and use as conversation starters.
·      Do something purposeful for the other person (leave a note, do a chore you don't normally do, give a compliment, buy flowers, give a massage)
·      Date Night-- DO IT: not just movie – something with interaction
·      PLAN a date in advance
·      Read a book together
·      Instagram photos of things that make you smile during the day.
·      Explore the likes of your partner that you don’t particularly care for, have no interest
·      Develop a common interest/talent together
·      Do not keep secrets; open lines of communication on all subjects
·      Time set aside to communicate with your spouse (no TV, other distractions)

·      Couple prayers
·      Go to temple together
·      When praying, vocalize the things you love about your spouse in your prayer
·      Share in the spiritual leadership of your home; discuss spiritual issues beforehand as a partnership
·      If you don’t read scriptures together, then at least read in the same place
·      Discuss the common lesson material together from church

     I hope you will find some of these tips helpful to you. I know I got a few good ones out of our assignment. Now I am going to go reconnect with my hubby. :)