Thursday, June 28, 2012


My eyes are healing up nicely. One is good enough to have the bandage contact taken out as of this morning. The other still has a "defect." That actually isn't as bad as it sounded when the doctor said it. I told Aaron to speak English for me and he said he basically gave my eyes road rash and this one hasn't healed over all the way yet. So I go back Tuesday in hopes that it will be healed up and that other contact can go in the trash.

Meanwhile I am seeing 20/25 which for me is like amazing without glasses. Very happy to be seeing well.

Meanwhile I have been resting my eyes often (napping) and trying not to be on the computer too much. It is hard on my eyes to focus on screens too much yet. I have been documenting my life with Instagram this week. I find it is a fun tool to let Jonathan see what he is missing at home. I like to bring a little of our joy here to him at work that way.

I also have been planning a baby shower for a friend who had a little girl last week. She didn't find out what she was having beforehand. She has 3 older boys and totally assumed she would have another boy. I dug into my little girl clothes today to use some of them to decorate.

After pillaging all the other girls baby clothes I was still short a couple cute outfits and missing components of one that was key to my decor. And then I thought perhaps it was in Camille's clothes.

It has been a really long time since I have opened the cedar hope chest containing all the earthly things that were JUST Camille's. I found some cute things. I held her "Shrek" blanket that my friend Janie made for her. We called it that because it is purple and green fuzzy blocks on one side. It is soft and silky purple on the other with little flowers. Camille loved to snuggle down into that blanket when she went to bed.

I held it up to my face an inhaled it. So did Annie. She was there with me. I told her how much I missed her sister. She comforted me with love pats. I have come so far in healing but the wound can still be visited in freshness. This is especially true when I hear of someone I know losing a child. Like when Janie called me just about a year after Camille died to tell me she had just lost her newborn baby boy. Or last night when I heard my pediatrician's son had passed away. He was buried at the same cemetery as Camille today.

I remember being there. I am so glad I am not there anymore. I am so grateful that the Lord created paths of healing for us as we journey through mortality. Some healing comes in minutes or days. My eyes will take about 3 months. But the heart, well, it takes lots of love to heal, so says my wise little Annie.