Wednesday, May 30, 2012

11 Years

Tonight, 11 years ago right now, I became a mother. After 18 hours of labor, three of them pushing, Sabrina Lucile finally made her very reluctant and rather traumatic way into this world. And instantly ... instantly, I was changed.

Becoming a mother, there are so many new things that are opened to your view of the world. New emotions and realizations seem to be a daily occurrence in those early days. I felt as if a major shift in my perspective and in my heart took place the moment I laid eyes on my sweet baby girl.

I always like to ask new mothers and fathers what has surprised them most about becoming a new parent. I have heard so many answers ... just how little sleep you get, how hard things you thought would be easy can be (nursing), how differently you look at the world now.

For me the answer to that question is always the same. I was shocked by how much I could love someone I didn't even know. I never believed in love at first sight until I saw Sabrina. As soon as I saw her it was like a little piece of my heart permanently attached to her.

She was all beat up from the traumatic delivery and had scars all over her head where the vacuum popped off mid use and tore her scalp up but despite all that, she was this beautiful little piece of me. I was just stunned to see her and feel like I had known her forever.

She has grown a bit in these 11 years. Her scars from delivery are now covered by a mass of curly blond hair. And I love her more today than I did even then. She and I went on a shopping spree on Saturday for her birthday. Today I made a cake.

She invited a couple of friends over to eat a piece with us. They brought their siblings and it turned into an impromptu dance/cake and ice cream party. My favorite kind of party ... no planning, all fun.

Thank you Sabrina, for the gift you gave me by entering my life 11 years ago and for all you continue to give me each day I am with you. I love you more than you can know.