Saturday, January 28, 2012

Workshop

Thank you to whomever it was out there praying for me today. I made it through both presentations without my mascara running. :) I did get emotional in parts but not so much so that I couldn't speak. I think the workshops went well overall. I hope so at least. I hope those in attendance felt inspired to write their own stories and use blogs to help them do that.

One thing I did that helped me keep my composure was to have the audience silently read a "post" I wrote specifically for the workshop that gave a summary of the life of my blog. I figured that reading silently gave them a true view of how it feels to know me from my blog. They could feel what my readers feel by reading. Plus it saved me from having to tell them about Camille's accident while trying to maintain my composure.

I thought maybe some of you may be interested in reading the post I wrote for the workshop. So here it is. Thanks again for the prayers!


The story of Stephanie Waite’s blog “A Daily Scoop” in Summary

I began my blog in April of 2008. In the first weeks of my blogging I wrote a post about each of my four little girls. My life was happy and my future looked bright. I had just moved into a new, permanent home big enough for us to grow into. I was in the midst of home decorating and backyard designing.
My youngest daughter Camille was about to turn one and her sisters were 2, 5 and 6. It had been a hard year having essentially two babies to look after. But I was finally starting to see some of the benefits and joy of having kids close in age as my two youngest were beginning to play together more. My girls were all beautiful, happy and healthy. Life was just wonderful and I was ready to write all about it.
Little did I know how drastically a Friday afternoon in June would change my life and my blog forever….
It was his face that told me. Walking down that long third floor corridor, adrenaline still coursing through my veins, I saw him at the far end. He was pacing, helplessly. Then he turned my direction. And I saw his face.
            Until that point, the only news I had heard from my husband was in a quick phone call, “They got her heart beating and she is taking spontaneous breaths on her own!” He had phoned from the ambulance carrying our youngest daughter to the hospital. I was still at home. I was the one who had found her in the brand new spa. I was not allowed to go with her, the police said. I had to stay and answer questions.
            But I had found hope in this one report my husband Jonathan had found time to phone in to me. Breathing on her own was good. A beating heart was good. That meant she was still with us. She was alive. There was still hope. She would be okay.
            Jonathan’s face told me a different story. His was not a face of hope or faith. His was the face of loss, great, unendurable loss. His was a face of agony.
Family quickly gathered around us as we waited and watched and prayed. I had recently started a blog and my sister logged on and put up a post requesting prayers on behalf of my 14 month old Camille. We needed a miracle. We needed prayers of faith.
The prognosis was very poor for our little girl. Doctors told us the best-case scenario was a long term vegetative state. As the hours passed, even that seemed unlikely. Camille’s organs were failing.
Through a grueling process of time and pleading and acceptance and prayer, Jonathan and I came to understand the Lord’s will for our daughter. We saw the miracle that we would be seeing would not be one to improve our daughter’s health. We shifted out prayers to plead for a miracle in our hearts. We pleaded for strength to accept this heavy heartache.
Meanwhile, word of our plight spread and hundreds of people went to our blog to leave comments of support and prayers. I updated our blog to indicate our decision to remove life support and ask people to pray for us: that we might have the strength to keep breathing when our daughter stopped.
The hundreds of people reading along with our plight and praying and supporting us turned to thousands. I felt a great strength come from the thousands of prayers being lifted up to heaven on our behalf. They were prayers from friends old and new, family near and far, and strangers of all different faiths from many varied countries.
Our daughter passed away on June 15, 2008, 48 hours after I found her. And my blog became a tool for me to update those concerned about me, to process my pain and keep a grip on eternal perspective. And so I wrote. I wrote everyday. I wrote the words I could not say. I put my heart, broken, humbled, and yet still believing out onto the Internet. I wrote my pain, the lessons I was learning, and my testimony.
And people read what I wrote. Some found their own pain reflected in my writing. My words expressed what they couldn’t. Some learned right along with me. They came to read the inspiration I had gleaned from my trial. And they read my testimony and beliefs along the way. And the miracles we all prayed for eventually came.
I have seen and felt the miraculous healing of broken and shattered hearts, hopes, and spirits. I have seen the miracle of repentance and growth of testimony. I have seen the miracle of one little angel spreading her influence across the world through the simple writings of her grieving mother.
The tides of grief still ebb and flow but the good days far out number the bad. I am grateful for that. I am grateful for the peace the truths of the gospel bring. I am grateful for Jesus Christ and his redeeming sacrifice. In Him there is hope. I am grateful for temple covenants that bind me to my family forever. I am grateful that I will never have to worry about Camille staying true to the Faith. I am grateful to have one child sealed up in heaven and guaranteed to be mine as long as I live worthy of her.
I am grateful for the miracle that I can still be grateful. 

12 comments:

Lana said...

Stephanie, I have not read your blog before now, but I was lucky enough to be at one of your workshops today :). Thank you for sharing. You did a beautiful job, and have influenced my life for the better. What an inspiration you are of faith and hope through trials. And I love to see how the Lord is working through you to touch so many people's lives! I feel a renewed energy to update our family blog with more of an eternal perspective in mind, and to live my life that way as well. Thank you again so much :)

Glenda @ Magnolia Bend Drive said...

Stephanie, I can only imagine how uplifting your workshop must have been. I wish that I could have attended. I am a friend of Carolyn Waite and have read your blog off and on since Camille's accident. Your perspective on life, parenting, and the gospel have caused me to ponder my own life and relationship with Jesus Christ, and to try to become better countless times. Thank you for that, and for this post, and for sharing your testimony. I am grateful to be able read your blog and know that I will be uplifted.

We are a part of a happy family said...

That's a beautiful summary. I'm looking forward to hearing more about the conference. Love you, R

Tournesol said...

What a beautiful post. I have been reading along since the accident. I had a similar situation that had a very good outcome, my son is fine. I found you I think because I tortured myself for months with the what ifs, what if I hadn't gotten there in time, how could I have let this happen, etc. You are such a woman of faith I am in awe. I am able now to feel that what happened to my son was a lesson to everyone there that day (pool party) just how quickly and quietly these things can happen and maybe everyone went home and was a little more watchful that summer, more loving and caring with their families. I'm such a worrier and hoverer with my kids I know everyone thought, if that could happen to her it could happen to anybody. Your posts helped me immensely with faith, motherhood. I hope this makes sense.

Melissa said...

Stephanie~

I gave across your blog about a year ago from a family friend's (Brittany and Doug Kunz) blog. What an inspiration your blog has been to read. I lost a nephew almost 4 years ago (stillborn) and learned a lot myself. At the present time I am teaching a primary class of 6-7 year old. Next weeks lesson is on families and if it's ok with you I might use a couple things from your blog. Hope that's ok.
Thanks again!!

Anonymous said...

Love to you Stephanie.

Jane
xoxo

♥Seri said...

Wish I lived in your area so I could have attended the workshop! As always, your words touch my heart and inspire me. Thank you for sharing your heart with us all!

Captain and First Officer said...

Beautifully written. I'm sure the conference was amazing. Love from Mesa.

Andrea said...

This is the blog of a friend of a friend...they suffered the terrible tragic loss of they little boy on Christmas Day. I thought you might be able to be a help and support to her. http://packoffixations.blogspot.com/

Donna said...

you did a great job on Saturday....I was really glad I came to your class. I would love for you to come by my blog when you get a chance...
bleachervision.blogspot.com
I am having fun today....because I am mad!!

Judy said...

What a beautiful post~so grateful that I was directed your blog (shortly after the accident) you are such an amazing woman & you have touched so many lives!

Sassy said...

You did an awesome job! Thank you so much. I will admit that I cried. Thank you for taking the time to do this. I really appreciate it.