Sunday, January 8, 2012

Super Best Friends

Last night I was giving Noble a bath and Harrison, who had already had a bath yesterday, was crawling around the bathroom. Well, Noble was mostly just playing in the bath. He would make a big splash and Harrison, who had pulled himself up to stand next to the tub, would laugh and scream in delight. Harrison was up on tip toes.

I wish I had an internal video camera. I sat there watching in pure mother delight. My sweet baby and little boy, enjoying each other to the fullest, made my heart so full. These two boys love each other so much. I know they will be such good friends.

Then my mind turned to a conversation I had earlier that day with my sister in law. We were talking about our kids and she asked if my girls had best friends. I gave her the reply that Sabrina recently gave me when I asked her. "Annie is Sabrina's super best friend and Sabrina is Annie's Super best friend. They tell each other EVERYTHING. Even things they won't tell me."

Then my heart got that old familiar stab of pain from the plan going terribly wrong. Who is going to be Lauren's super best friend? Can I possibly fill that spot as her mother without throwing off the delicate balance of showing all my children equal love? Will she feel that missing or am I just feeling it for her? They are old and never ending questions.

I see Camille so often in my little Harrison as he grows. His joys are doubly fulfilling for me; his sorrows doubly painful to me. I miss her. I watch her Waite cousins, one girl 4 months younger and one girl 4 months older than Camille would have been. I see them holding hands, their friendship growing. I miss her being with them. They should have another member of their crew.

Then again maybe my little missing one can be more of a "super best friend" to all of us-- Lauren, her cousins, me -- just the way things are. She will always listen and never be angry or jealous or mean. She is close when we are sad and her silent presence is a comfort. Maybe one day, when we meet again, we will find she shared in all our joys, laughed with us in our jokes, delighted in our triumphs and was a more constant and close friend as an angel than she ever could be here on Earth. Maybe she is now more able than ever to be the "super bestest" friend ever.

7 comments:

Karol said...

Love this. While our situations our different,my two girls being 11 and 15 years older than Laynee would be, I miss her being here with them. I know that she would look up to them and hang on their every word and action. They, in turn, would treat her like the very special little sister that she is. Missing our little girls with you.

Alesha said...

Thanks for this! I have such a hard time with this as my little man who passed away has a cousin 7 weeks younger. His mom and I planned practically their whole lives as best friends and they didn't even get a day together. I feel the same way about my youngest who would have been so close to him in age and he doesn't even understand what happened. Thank you for the last paragraph, that is such a better way to look at it.

Diana...aka...MeMe said...

Stephanie, that is a beautiful way to think of your little blue eyed angel! Super Bestest, indeed~

Stephanie said...

You amaze me with your insights, wisdom and strength! I'm sure she is a "super best friend" to all of you! How sweet that your girls are such good friends. It sure makes life easier as a mom when siblings like each other :)

Catherine Noorda said...

i love that about sab and annie! my sisters and i are kind of like that.

Anonymous said...

Xoxo

jane

Sammy said...

You may not see it this early on but Lauren could end up both Annie and Sabrina's best bud. I have 3 sisters and I'm closest to the one farthest from me in age (6 yrs difference) though it didn't happen until college. I do know those I served with on my mission who had a loved one from their immediate family beyond the veil always had an "extra" companion. Their connection and understanding of the otherside of the veil was so beyond any of us who hadn't suffered such a great loss. I always remember those friends and missionaries talking about how they always feel their loved one near. I know each of your children will feel that in their lives because of Camille being their super best friend.