Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Sacred Time

I have been spending nearly every hour of every day in my home since coming home from the hospital.  A great deal of these hours have been spent holding my little son Harrison. He really is a Harris son. My maiden name is Harris and he just looks like my side of the family to me. I like to call him "little son."
Little Son Harrison - 6 days old

He is a joy to hold. I don't have to bounce and jiggle to soothe him. He is content to just feel my touch. He rarely cries or fusses. Really only when he is wet or cold or hungry or has a big burp. It is so wonderful to have such a sweet tempered newborn to love on. I am treasuring every minute of it, even those in the middle of the night.
Harrison McKay - 6 days old

Often it is just the two of us, especially in the night like right now. All is quiet and peaceful. The cool night air slips in from the open sliding glass door and the only sounds are a dog barking, the quiet hum of the fridge, the faint chirping of crickets, and the sweet little gurgles of my newborn little son.
12 days old sleeping on my lap in the afternoon.

There is a sacred feel to this time I spend alone with him. It is almost as if heaven is still in his every breath. He looks at me with knowing eyes and I feel a stirring love and connection to this tiny being who I just met 12 days ago. How powerful a magic these mini miracles wield. They capture a mother's heart in an instant and hold it in a vice grip forevermore.
12 days old - spending quiet awake time at night with Mom.

I feel the hallowed nature of this time more keenly with this my little son as so often our time together is in silence. Without the frayed nerves of trying to soothe tears and hush cries, I feel a peace and depth to our time together. It is a beautiful, wondrous, divinely sweet experience that I want to savor while I am in it and be able to enjoy again through memory all my life.
Harrison's awake look that pierces right through me. 12 days old.

And so I try to make it more tangible to my poor human mind by recording my feelings today so that in my many tomorrows, I can hope to feel an inkling of this so sacred time with him so small, peaceful, and perfect.

17 comments:

Lissy said...

Beautiful words and a handsome little man! Congratulations - he is lucky to have you for a mom :)

Laura Jansson said...

What a precious little boy. You are so right about the Harrison side of the family look--I think he looks a lot like you! He's so handsome :)

m&msmommy said...

What a sweet little peanut! SO cute! :)

I don't know you or your family but from the pictures I've seen of you on your blog I think he looks JUST like you! :)

Melanie said...

I have seven little ones. Well, not so little I guess. They range from 13 to 1. All I can say to this post is AMEN!!! Thank you for putting into such beautiful words, the feelings that only new moms can understand.

Mindy said...

Beautiful! You can see sooo much of his mama in him!

Cheryl said...

He is so handsome and such an angel! I found the more children I had the more I valued the time alone with them at night because it was often the only time I could hold them without other children needing me! Enjoy...nothing like a newborn to bring heaven into your home!

Anonymous said...

so breath taking. you can truly see heaven through his eyes. he's beautiful stephanie... what a joy. thank you for sharing your words.

shanan said...

what a beautiful baby boy. he is undeniably a son of a Harris! when can i come squish those little cheeks of his!?

Judy said...

He is just beautiful! I love those quiet nights alone with a brand new baby ~ their little spirits make the lack of sleep so worth it!!

Darleen said...

He is so sweet! I can see he has your lips. :)

Anonymous said...

He has beautiful skin!

Diana...aka...MeMe said...

He does look like you Stephanie! How very precious~ he is adorable!

choosingadoption said...

Adorable - Congratulations!!!!!!!

Tournesol said...

What a beautiful little boy!

Shells said...

What a beautiful post. Thank you for putting into perfect words what I have felt each time I bring a little piece of heaven into this world.

Nathan & Michelle Watabe said...

You did a great job expressing how it feels to have a newborn! He is so darling! You make me want one! My oldest is named Harrison after my maiden name, so obviously I'm a big fan of your choice and resoning behind it!

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...

Reading your post brings back all of the wonderful memories of what it's like when our sweet babies come home to us...

Thank you, and CONGRATULATIONS!