Monday, April 11, 2011

Emotional

I have been feeling especially emotional this last week. I am sure part of it is those postpartum hormones. But I don't feel depressed. I just feel extra tender. And I am not sitting around crying for no good reason. I have reasons. ;) I am just crying about them more than I think I would if I hadn't just had a baby.

One of those reasons is my parents upcoming move. It is really emotional for me to think too much about them moving. And since they have just purchased a new home and can start moving their stuff in later this week if they want, well, it is getting harder to avoid thinking about the reality of them moving from my childhood home.

This move of theirs has a double dose of emotion for me because their home represents more than just a million childhood memories for me. It is the home Jon and I lived in when my parents were in Africa on a mission. It is the home where Lauren learned to walk and talk, where Sabrina started school and where she and Annie learned to read. It is the home where Camille was conceived, born, and lived for 8 of the 14 months of her life. So seeing my parents move and saying goodbye to their house is like saying goodbye to another little piece of my own little family and of course another little piece of my angel girl.

Which brings me to my other reason for being teary. It is April. A week from tomorrow my little Camille would have turned 4. And I am just ... missing her. Four is a super cute age.

So here is a little walk down the 4 year old memory lane. Sabrina at age 4.

Annie at age four.

Lauren at age four.


I can only wonder what my littlest girl would have looked like at age four.


8 comments:

Anonymous said...

She would be as beautiful as her sisters.

Kisses and hugs for you from afar, my friend.

Love,

Jane

Joyce Kay said...

Praying for you. I know that this has to be hard for you both the fact that your parents are moving from you childhood home that hold so many wonderful memories for you...and then the what would have been your baby Camille's 4th birthday. I'm sure that she is smiling down on all of you. Have you every heard that Carrie Underwood song I'm not sure of the title but it is about going back to her childhood home and taking just a memories with her? It is a very touching song. Love to you from a far.....

Anonymous said...

your in my thoughts and prayers stephanie. i know this must be a very difficult time for you. camille im sure is right here with you and loving you nurture and care for her little brother. she is a beautiful girl just like her sisters. hugs are going out to you and your family during this very difficult time.

Diana...aka...MeMe said...

Camille is smiling down~ precious as ever! 4 is a fun age, isn't it? My favorite! I taught 4yr olds and think they are magical! Thinking about you... I think of your Camille often and say a little prayer for that little angel.

The Robinson's said...

She would be lovely at age 4!

4 year olds are fun. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Sorry you are going through this.

The Cricket on the Hearth said...

Her little outfit says "The Tiny Seed"... she is your tiny seed in Heaven. One day you WILL watch her blossom and grow.
My sweet little 87 year-old mother just passed away on March 13th. I love to think of her being greeted by her firstborn son who drowned at 18 months old and know that she will one day have the opportunity to raise him. Yes, I know you know that already. Sweet is the peace the Gospel brings...

Ryan said...

oh those postpartum hormones suck! (sorry you seem so much above such a crude word, but its the best thing I could come up with through my tears)
This is such a hard time without them making it all feel so much MORE. I love that last picture of you and Camille. Oh, she is such a doll! She for sure is watching over you and would want you to be happy and love on her new brother (who she is probably missing) for her. Kiss him and make funny noises and faces like she'd be doing at four. You'll be in my prayers.
And by the way, Harrison is just precious!

Tiffany said...

Camille's sweet face is forever burned into my heart and mind. I love her sweet and beautiful smile and that's how I picture her. Always smiling...but how could she not with YOU as her mother. Loves to you!