Monday, February 8, 2010

Present

Sometime the job of Mom can be a bit ... monotonous. Even with the perspective I have now of appreciating even the stinky parts of motherhood, there are times when the days run together like a seemingly endless chain or repeated chores, messes, homework assignments, diapers, meals, bedtimes etc...

The other day I was thinking about this as I was driving. I was thinking about how often my mind is elsewhere as I perform my daily mothering tasks. It is planning the weekend or thinking about my young women or lingering in the past. As I thought about this I had a moment where I felt 100% in the present and felt a rush of gratitude.

I feel I need to spend more time disciplining my mind to live more presently. My most treasured motherhood moments have been ones where I was 100% in the moment and present with my children. All my focus was on what we were doing right then. And they have been simple things like teaching the kids a lesson or drawing pictures with them or watching them learn something new.

I really want to be as present as I can for my kids. That isn't always easy for me. But I know the returns on this kind of invested time are what makes motherhood worth it. One day at at time I am going to work on that. Tomorrow's goals: spend some time present 100% in the moment with each kid, keep a loving tone (still working on that one), get my "do" list done. If I am going to be successful at that I better get some sleep. Wish me luck. :)

9 comments:

Rach said...

Steph,

There sometimes is a monotony to the dailiness of life, so I understand what you mean about not living in the here and now. I need to be more cognizant of that as well. I didn't realize it until I read your words. Thank you for the wake-up call.

Good luck! :o)

Jonelle Hughes said...

Stephanie- Thanks for these thoughts in relation to Mothering. There is actually a name for what you are talking about, and ever since I learned about it, I try daily to use it more. It is called Present Time Consciousness, or PTC. So, any time my mind wanders, when I really want to focus on what I am doing right then, I bring myself back to that thought. I have found that as I do this more and more, I am less stressed, more focused, and feel better at the end of the day, knowing I was the most present I could be for each of those hours of that particular day. Now some days, I forget to use it all together, but, I am trying. :)

Here is an interesting article I ran across about it:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Stress-and-Present-Time-Consciousness-Or-PTC&id=2211602

Amanda said...

You are amazing.

jimnalli said...

This is something I have been thinking about but could never ever have worded it in such a way that you just did.. and I dont know that I was completely conscious of my thinking of it either. I know EXACTLY what you mean. Each word you said was amazing. I had one of those GRATEFUL and being 100% inthe moment thoughts today and it's wonderful and I need to do it more often...
Pres. Monson said in conference almost 1 1/2 years ago to "enjoy the journey" and I have tried more to live in the moment since then and with your post, this is clarified more in my mind now, I will try harder....THANKS!

Julie said...

I can totally relate to this and often feel bored of the constant chores but also know my kids won't be this age forever and I should enjoy it. Maybe it is the recent rainy weather that has made me extra blue these last few days. Thanks!

a.k.a. Jack said...

This post really hit home with me. It is so true. We spend our whole lives in school, training our minds to double-, triple-, quadruple-task. Now, we need to fine-tune that training so that we can turn it off when necessary. You're absolutely right that the great moments with our children (and with our husband, or anyone for that matter) are when we are 100% in the moment. Thanks for recognizing that. I'm going to try to do better at it too.
Jenny
p.s., I love that you call it your "do" list instead of "to do" list. Maybe if I relabel mine, I will get more done. :)

Heidi said...

I have been thinking about this exact same issue. I want to be 100% in the moment, too, and was beginning to worry that I was the only one whose mind is on other things as I go through my day. Thanks for making me feel like I'm not alone in the habit and not alone in wanting to change it. I pray we are both successful at changing!

Gwenevere said...

Your blog titles are the same as mine. :) I'm the best mom when I have nothing else distracting me...my problem, is that I love almost everything I do, so it is so easy for me to be distracted with everything else that I can also be doing. I can't wait to take the "God is everywhere" course in Heaven.

Bonnie said...

You teach me so much! Where were you thirty years ago when I was raising my little ones? Older women always used to tell me that they grow up so fast---well, they were right! But now, finally, I have learned to be absolutely in the moment every single time I get to spend with my adorable grandchildren! And, since the death of my son I realize how fragile and fleeting life can be. We've all heard the phrase that when God closes a door, he also opens a window. It's so obvious that you are letting the sun pour in, and I think it's wonderful to watch you soak in all in, and then share all the wisdom you're gaining. It's a strange thought but I think your other children are being so blessed in ways you won't even know until the next life by your humble, teachable and faithful reaction to your tragedy. I think you are a very special young woman!