It is night. Late at night. I am about to go up to bed. But for me it is a special night and I wanted to mark it with a post. I am happy tonight. I am alone and it is late and I am happy. Nothing has happened to make me have some artificial high. My house isn't all clean and sparkley (which would definitely make me happy). No I just feel good.
This is the first night I have felt like this since Camille died. I have been fine other nights. But those are usually when other people are around or there are reasons to make me happy. Nights have been the hardest. My mind get tired at night and in the lonely waking hours I have often come here to the blog to get my feelings out before going to bed. Night is when the wanting and the missing and the questioning has come most forcefully.
But tonight - September 9, 2009 - (It is 12:01 now on 9.9.9) tonight I feel great.