Sunday, November 8, 2009

"Thank You!"


Have you ever been holding a baby in your arms and felt so incredibly grateful for that sweet moment that the words "Thank You" just explode from your mouth without thought?

I have now.
When the missing weighs heavy on my heart I find myself counting my blessings with greater appreciation.

There is still a part of my psyche that reruns the events surrounding Camille's accident over and over trying to make the outcome different. It doesn't happen constantly like it used to, thankfully, but it is also not infrequent. Several times a week, and some weeks more than others, those events replay in my mind trying to come to a different end.

And while I am crushed each time I realize and remember what is lost, I am quickly reminded what I have gained. As I held Noble in my arms before putting him to bed the other night my aching heart just burst in gratitude for the little boy in my arms. And out of my lips came the words "Thank you!" Thank you to my loving Father in Heaven who has blessed me over and over again. He fills my empty arms so well.

15 comments:

Sue said...

He is a wonderful little soul, isn't he? You can just see it in his whole countenance.

=)

Ann said...

I had a thank-you moment with my baby son tonight, too. (But he's actually big now, even went to nursery today for the first time.) Those moments are sure hard to describe, but so wonderful.

Kdskids said...

Hey Steph...haven't been on in a while but wanted to check in on you. I have been busy with school but I need to get back over for SYTYCD! Lauren misses having Sabrina in her class this year. Anyways...back on topic...I think children can soothe us in many ways. They really help us stay focused on eternal things and the love H.F. has for us. Hugs! Kathy

Anonymous said...

Noble is truly one of the most beautiful baby boys I have EVER seen!! (Actually, all of your children are gorgeous...and that includes Camille!) Have you ever considered them in modeling?!

Anonymous said...

My gosh he is so cute!
Jenn

Laurie Renouf Medearis said...

My daughter has shared your blog with our family for sometime now.
It helps me to remember my blessings and I am so grateful that Heavenly Father continues to bless your sweet family. What a beautiful son to bring happiness to your sweet family.

Diana...aka...MeMe said...

Looks like Mr Personality!! Precious!

Rachel said...

The reruns have been coming more frequently this past week for us as it's coming up on the 11th. This particular 11th is different though because Sophie will be the exact same age as Emma when she died. They were born exactly 17 months apart. And while I know that it has nothing to do with the age, I can't help but feel terrified. What is even harder for us now is that after the 11th, Sophie will be our oldest. Emma was our first and everything from that point on will be new and things we didn't experience with Emma.

shanan said...

I know this feeling quite well. And I'm still humbled and filled with immense gratitude when I think of all the difficult times Annie helped me endure. All she did was let me hold her - but I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Your little boy is just too cute for words.

lacyboo said...

i so often have this moment with our little man. i have lost a child also from stillbirth(which i know is completely different and the pain is so much deeper) but i find myself rocking my kids to sleep and just mostly silently but sometimes vocally just thanking my heavenly father for the all he gives.

Anonymous said...

What a sweet boy! He is just precious. I also had one of those moments today when I was rocking my 3-month-old boy.

Amanda said...

He's so beautiful...

nina said...

He's just beautiful.

chanel said...

i am soooooo happy to read this. so beautiful, so GOOD.

Stacy said...

Noble is one of the cutest little boys I have ever seen! Thank you for this post!