Thursday, July 23, 2009

Wanting


When I was single I used to have this quote up on my wall. I am not sure who made it up. But it totally fit my life.

"Men I want don't want me.
Men I don't want think I am 'the one.'
Men I think are 'the one' act as if I am not there.
Men I treat as if they are not there want me.
If I could be anyone I wanted to be,
I'd be one of the women who doesn't wants the men who want the women who aren't me."

It seems for some of us it is innate to always want what we can't have. It was true of me in my dating life. It is true now because lately I have REALLY been wanting a bit of this:
Camille Kathleen Waite

In an effort to combat my "wanting" I have been reminding myself of something a speaker at Time Out for Women said last year. I think it is applicable to lots of situations so I thought I would share.

The speaker, whose name I can't remember, talked about the Garden of Eden. It was a garden full of flowers trees and fruit. The Lord told Adam and Eve that they could eat freely of ALL the trees in the Garden --- ALL except for ONE. There was only ONE tree that He told them not to eat from. They could FREELY eat from ALL the others.

The speaker related this to how often we have similar circumstances in our lives. We are given SO much from the Lord and yet often there is ONE (or maybe a few or several) thing(s) that we are not able to enjoy fully here. The speakers message was to try to focus on all the trees we are able to eat from instead of focusing on the one we are forbidden.

That is easier said than done for those of us with this nature of always wanting what we can't have. But it is something I have spent the last year REALLY trying to do. And I have found much success in my efforts. I know I appreciate my living children more fully than before. And it gives me something to refocus my thoughts and my heart when the missing and wanting get too intense.

Really this life is not the time that we get to enjoy all the fruit. There must be some withheld so that we can know the bitter. And it is in the next life that we will fully appreciate the sweet that will then be ours without reservation or restriction.

17 comments:

Miss Molly said...

This is a fantastic thought/parallel! Thank you for sharing it. I'm sorry we can't have our children with us in mortality. I'm sorry you are separated from her...

Diana...aka...MeMe said...

Beautiful words again Stephanie. So very true and wise.

Meg said...

Thank you for posting this. I've been following your blog since you lost your little girl and I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been feeling this lately too... I had a little boy two months ago when I was only 21 weeks pregnant. My water broke, and it was just too soon for him to have any chance of making it, so he passed away just after being born. This post really resonated with me and I had never thought about that parallel before with the garden of Eden. The last paragraph you wrote makes a lot of sense, there must be some withheld so that we can know the bitter. I've always believed in the after life, and wanting to be with my family forever, but this now holds a whole new meaning for me. I want to know my son... and this is something that I'm not going to be able to do here. It makes me really look forward to the millenium, but at the same time I need to focus more on the wonderful things that I do have here. Thank you so much for this! I needed to read this today.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for putting this on your blog. It reminds us everyday all that we have and to follow what the Lord has in store for us.

Thank You (:

Jennie said...

Stephanie,
I love your posts. You really are so wise, and gifted in analogies. I am so sorry you have to wait to see her again.

Rach said...

Hi Steph. I'm so sorry the longing has been strong lately. The analogy is well done. Love to you. :o)

Anonymous said...

Stephanie,

Today's post really spoke to me. I have been reading your blog for a few months now and today I was moved with the courage to comment. Thank you for your pearls of wisdom. Your words are always so real and so moving and I look forward to reading them everyday. Somehow you are able to put into words the thoughts and feelings so many of us encounter in our life. THANK YOU for sharing. God bless you and your family.

Love to you from a friend in CA...

Anonymous said...

Love to you Stephanie.

That is such a beautiful picture of Camille. Completely precious.

Jane

Christina said...

I seem to always want what i can't have as well. I am longing for someone now...though nothing that should be compared to longing for your sweet baby girl. What a sweet reuinion that will be when you see her again. HUGS!

Lori said...

And....the wait to see Camile will definitely be worth it. Better yet, it will be something that you can actually have, hold and love.

Jenessa said...

That is just what I needed this week. I find myself sometimes dwelling on the longing I have to see my father and brother and wanting them physically in my life instead of spiritually in my life. I know that someday I will have them with me again and that day will be sweeter than anything I can imagine but the longing is still there. I trust the Lord in His decision for us here on earth even when I don't understand them.

Anonymous said...

The speaker might have been Beverly Cambell, I know she wrote a book on the Garden of Eden and has done the Time Out Circuit. Interestingly enough, she also lost a child so her insights may be similar to yours.

Jami said...

wow, what a way to put things in perspective..that is so true in my life. Thank you for once again being an inspiration!

Anonymous said...

Stephanie you are so amazing in able to relate what is going on in your life to that of what the Lord has taught...if only ALL of us could take a lesson from you.

Just me! said...

Thank you for this post. I have thought a lot about it the last few days. So true!! I needed that...

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this post. I can't even begin to tell you how much I needed to hear this. Far too often I find myself focusing on what I can't have instead of all the wonderful blessings and experiences that are available to me.

Marylin said...

I remember that talk as well, it touched me also and I too have often thought about it and how it applies to me. Thank you for reminding me and I am thinking of you! :)