Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Saying Goodbye


One of the curious parts of birthing Noble was how long it took for him to come out after my water broke. Now I am very aware that his birth was a quick one. But I expected it would have been much shorter from the time my water broke (I was fully dilated on one side and just had a little bit of cervix left on the other side when this happened) till the time he came into the world. 

I thought it would be a matter of minutes but it turned out to be just over 2 hours. Yet as I labored through the contractions waiting his arrival, one thought kept me filled with patience. I remember how hard it was for us to say goodbye to our sweet Camille. I felt distinctly that he was saying his goodbyes. That was not something I wanted to rush.

Later on in one of those quiet moments alone in my room with Noble, I laid him up on my bare skin just over my heart so he could hear it beating. As he was settling down and falling asleep he reached his little hand over and grabbed hold of my Camille necklace. I wished someone were there to photograph it. 

A few minutes later Jonathan came in and I had him take a picture even though Noble by now was fully asleep and had lost his tight grip on the necklace. 
I have no doubt that these last 11 months have been sweet for Camille and Noble to be together. I only hope I can help him know during this life a bit of this sister he knew so well before. 

39 comments:

D-9 said...

That is so precious.

Bryce & Cortney Alvord said...

Oh so so precious! Thanks for sharing!

kmmclain said...

That brought tears to my eyes. The veil is so thin isn't it? Thank you for sharing.
He is beautiful.

Kr!sty said...

The tender moments x2. A very special thought about siblings & the sweet tenderness of Mother & baby cuddling. Congrats! So happy it went well. :)

Amanda said...

What an amazing picture...

Sarah Hull said...

Your new sweet Noble is just darling! This post was so tender and filled my heart with love and my eyes with tears.

Diana...aka...MeMe said...

What a special moment in time. A treasured picture as well. A message for you from above!

JJ said...

It's so wonderful to know that there is a here after
that we were with our love ones that were with us before our births and that we can be with them again.

James and Sarah Narramore said...

That is so sweet!!!

my stay-at-home-momma drama said...

Tears rolling down my cheeks! You have such a sweet perspective.

Nerell said...

How Beautiful. I have goosebumps everywhere

Amy H said...

That is beautiful.

Rachel said...

I love those tender moments. I find Sophie staring at photos of Emma and babbling at them constantly. I wonder what she's seeing that we're not.

Carolyn said...

Oh, so sweet! A very tender moment.

Heather said...

Thank you for this little glimpse into eternity. So many times your posts help bring things back into perspective for me. Your testimony stregthens mine. Thank you. He is precious.

Darlene said...

on june 15, 2008 is when my son was born. i can't immagine there was another family far from us, losing their sweet angel on that same day. I'm sorry. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and congratulation on your new yummy!

Candace said...

That is a true testament of love. You have given us the story so beautifully. I am sure that Noble and Camille have a bond that will never be broken. So precious!

Heather H said...

Simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with us.

Jenny said...

I am a lurker to your blog. It has blessed me beyond words.

I just wanted to comment the experience of my own family as it relates to this post.

My mother's 5th child was born at about 23 weeks gestation. He only lived a few minutes. What is interesting is that it is my mother's NEXT baby that has always seemed to know our brother better than the rest of us. I do believe that they spent time together in Heaven just as you indicate Noble and Camille have. And I suspect that you will not need to work very hard to help him know her in this life. Perhaps it will even be he who helps you know Camille better. Just a thought.

Congratulations on this wonderful new addition to your family. And thank you for taking such devestating circumstances in your own life and turning them in to such a miraculous benefit to other. Your story really has touched me and blessed me more than I can say.

Mimi's Toes said...

How sweet! Such a beautiful post! It really ministered to my heart! You are amazing Stephanie.

Patti said...

I really enjoy reading your blog. This is the sweetest post I think I have ever read. Congrats to you and your family on your new baby boy!

Jennie said...

That is such a sweet and touching story and picture. I have no doubt that Noble knew and knows Camille. It was probably not easy for him to say goodbye to his sweet sister. Thank you for sharing that moment with us. I'm so glad Jonathon was able to capture that picture.

Anonymous said...

My bishop has frequently said that after a baby is born the veil doesn't close right away. It could be months or even years. Maybe that is why babies and toddlers are always so smiley and giggly. I have been looking at my little one year old lately wondering why he smiles and laughs so much. I keep thinking that I've missed the punchline somewhere.

Kate

Liz @ Sugarplum Creations said...

So very sweet. It must bring you comfort to think of the time they got to spend together.

mutze handknit by ashley said...

Congratulations. I have a present for Noble. I will give it to Kathleen. I am so excited for you to have a baby boy. I love this picture of Noble holding Camille. That is such a tender moment. We love you and your family.
Ash

Olsens R Us said...

I love the Spirit that dwells in our home for those few weeks after we bring a new baby home. It is different, and the veil certainly seems thinner, just as it is when we have someone we love leave us to return home to Heavenly Father. I have always felt that my babies know so much that they can't tell me. I think in the scriptures when it talks about the tongues of babes being loosed and speaking glorious things that it is literal. Our childrens tongues are bound in those first years of being here on earth because they would simply tell us too much. I actually have a nephew who spoke at a very young age and at 18 months was speaking with an extensive vocabulary. One day, he started talking about watching me "walk to school" and that while he watched me he "really wanted me to be his aunt" He was able to give details that let me know that he really did see me as teenager, walking to school, which was about 4 years before he was born. Due to family circumstances, It was a very difficult period of my life at the time that I was making that 6 mile walk to school. It was a tender mercy for me to know that I had unborn angels rooting for me at that time. Our ancestors and posterity all know the plan and I think we have more people cheering us on than we can even imagine. Ancestry and posterity, together on the other side watching us in our little window of time and hoping we do our best with our link in the chain. Camille will probably always be close to your children and grandchildren, helping guide them along their way.

I'm sorry for such a long post, and I hope you don't mind my sharing these thoughts with you. I hope that you are finding joy in this precious time. My prayers continue to be with you and your family.

Stina said...

He is just so perfect and beautiful!! You two make such gorgeous children.

connie said...

Beautiful post. For a long time I have believed that when some one dies, they are welcomed into the other side by many loved ones. Along those same lines, when someone comes to earth they are sent off in the same way, surrounded by loved ones. In a perfect world everyone that makes that change would be sent and received with love. It's so awesome when I get to be part of the loving group, like being among the first to see a new one. It's not doctrine that I am aware of but seems like something a loving Father would arrange ;)

Hollie Wood said...

I have no doubt she will continue to look in on him. So in those quiet moments during feeding time when he seems to be looking off into nowhere or is asleep and suddenly grins, it is moments like that, that make me wonder just who is visiting! There is no doubt in my heart that angels minister and the veil closes slowly for these tiny celestial souls as they transition to this world. I just wish us moms were privy to what I believe they are still able to see! I'm sure Camille is helping him transition. **HUGS**

Chelsa said...

i never thought of it that way, but thank you!

Through the Storm said...

What a beautiful mommy and such a handsome baby boy!

Congratulations and God bless.

The Robinson's said...

Awwww....That was so precious! What a moment to have. There are goosebumps all over me. So sweet!

jimnalli said...

What a neat story. I dont have words to say how neat it is that he grabbed onto your Camille necklace. Wow...he probably has so much he wishes he could tell you while the veil is still so thin in his new life. I am thankful that you are willing to share these very special moments to us all, especially to some like me who are complete strangers. You are such a strength to me.

kathryn_m said...

My goodness Stephanie - your spirituality and depth of thought never cease to amaze and edify me.

One can't help but ponder what Camille and Noble were feeling and sharing during their final hours together until they are reunited for eternity .. and ponder I will.

I have goosebumps.

Now for the $64,000 question(s): Does beautiful Waite baby #5 have his mama's hairline? Babies change their looks quite often in the early months but who does he remind you of the most? Has Lauren come around to realizing that baby brothers are cool?

Love 'n hugs,
kathyrn_m

Rachel said...

What a beautiful moment, it makes me cry just thinking of those precious little ones helping each other through this earthly existence.

Sharon said...

Stephanie--I've been reading your blog for months and I'm so inspired by how you are dealing with this HUGE trial. You are such an amazing person. And Noble is beautiful.

I just found out that my Sister-in law's sister-in-law just had a book published about grieving the loss of a child. Camille is also an amazing woman and I can't wait to read her book, but I thought it may be something you can look into. Here's a link to the Deseret book listing http://deseretbook.com/authors/author-info/19880 or you can check her blog out here http://thelanderwhitings.blogspot.com/

Marylin said...

Love this picture, so sweet and what a tender moment!! :) All my love

denisejorgy said...

I'm sure in the first few years in his life, when the veil is very thin, Camille will be there helping him and still staying very close. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

He is just too precious! There is nothing like a newborn baby. I am certain that he has had and will continue to have a special connection with Camille. I lost a brother a few years ago and my husband's father passed away before any of the kids were born. We always say that they knew the girls before we did and were a part of sending them to us. I am so grateful for the knowledge of eternal families and the ties that bind us all together.
Enjoy your little man; he is adorable. In his own way he may share some awesome insights about Camille and their experiences together.

Love you,
Nikki K.