Monday, May 18, 2009

Living in the Round

Morgan Noble Waite
7 days old
taken by Lesli Streets

I am back to living in the continual round of diaper changing, feeding, burping, feeding, diaper changing again, burping again, sleeping some only to be awoken by a cry to feed again. It is a world unto itself. I call it the newborn cocoon. You lose all track of time and days all seem to run together. It is a tiring time. It is an emotional time with hormones on top of tiredness. But this more than most, it has been a sweet and precious time.

I have been treasuring the gift I have been given in being able to mother this healthy little son. Each child is a treasure and every day we have them a gift to us from their Maker. I am hyper aware of this reality now. 

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

The Lord gave to me, and gave to me, and gave to me, and then he gave again. Then he took from me and now he gives once more. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

There are moments, in the quiet sleepy hours, when I am beset with sorrow and missing for the daughter who would have been ...

But mostly there is peace. Peace in the sleeping face of the son who would not yet be but for the loss. Peace in knowing how much good has come from our sorrow. Peace in knowing all is well and right as it is.

It is a sweet and tender time in this newborn cocoon. Heaven's breath still on his lips, all the rest of us mourners suck it in quenching our thirst for the sweetness of his newborn perfection.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful image, beautiful words.

kh said...

I love his chubby cheeks, Steph!

Kami Beck said...

Congratulations on the safe arrival of your sweet baby Noble! I loved reading about your experience. You have an amazing way with words. Noble is beautiful and lucky to be in your family! Love You!

Jennie said...

He is beautiful! I love his cheeks- so cute and kissable. What beautiful words, too. There is nothing like a newborn. Straight from heaven and the angels.

gina said...

Steph- that was a beautiful post. I have felt that way about my babies, but could not have expressed it so well -heavens breath on their lips and sucking it in to quench our thirst. I am going to remember that. You are wonderful. Beautiful, beautiful boy!

Carli said...

He is beautiful! I just found out that I am having my first boy and seeing the picture of your little baby just made me so happy and excited!

Angie said...

That is one cute picture!!

Laura said...

Sweet, sweet picture, and what a reflective and tender post. I'm glad you are enjoying your "cocoon". :)

Judy said...

What a beautiful post and a beautiful baby boy to go with it! Thank you for your words and inspiration!

The Robinson's said...

What an ADORABLE picture! I love his chubby cheeks. So precious!

Diana...aka...MeMe said...

Your words are breathtaking Stephanie... and so is that baby boy!

Jen said...

Nothing to say except he is a beautiful baby!

vocalise said...

Expressed so lovely. Thank you.

Mandi said...

Beautiful picture! She does a great job. I love your words also!

Mimi's Toes said...

Loving his chunky cheeks and sweet chin. Perfect Post! Love how you express yourself.

Karen said...

That was so beautiful. thank you.

Michelle
Gavin's Mom

Amanda said...

Amen. That was beautiful.

Stacy said...

What a perfect way to describe those first few days/weeks. I think this feeling is very addicting to women and probably divinely so.

jimnalli said...

I love this post

Becky said...

He is so beautiful that it brings tears to my eyes. Thank you for such a touching post.

Kr!sty said...

Boy! You just know how to say it! Well said. :)

MM said...

We are doing a study on Job at our church over the next few weeks and your mention of the Lord gives and takes away reminded me of the video they played:

http://vimeo.com/4654340

Thank you for your sharing your heart.

April said...

So beautiful.

Have you picked a flower for your little man?

Vicki said...

Congratulations on the birth of this beautiful baby boy. I love this picture of him! And I so enjoy your writing - you truly have a gift.

Mindy said...

He has the most perfect features. :) What a gorgeous baby you have! Great photo too. :)

Anonymous said...

That is the absolute sweetest picture! He is amazing! I hope you are feeling well! Thanks for sharing your experiences!

Laura Allen

Rachel H said...

BEAUTIFUL post!! I feel like I know you reading your blog for almost year now! In fact, I was in that very newborn cocoon when I found out about your loss, and I cried many late nights for you as I sat up on the internet nursing my little one. I appreciated her all that much more. Now she's almost 1! My, time flies and it heals. God has blessed you again! Congratualtions on that beautiful boy!

Angie Larkin said...

This post made my heart smile. Your little son looks like you. Beautiful thoughts. True.