Today as I sat staring at my belly waiting for my doctor to come in and check me out, I had one of those moments. You know those moments when it hits you how incredible it is that there is a whole person there moving around and soon to join the world. It is just amazing that we are able to assist in the creation of life.
I am playing the waiting game now. I am mostly ready to have this baby. I am two weeks from my due date. My body is ready. It is just waiting for things to start and the baby to come. Yet, unlike most other pregnancies, I am not as anxious as I have before been. I feel pretty good as long as I don't do too much.
I know now that I have said that, tomorrow I will feel terrible. :) But for now I feel pretty good. I really want to go into labor on my own without being induced. I hope that happens for me. I am tempering my patience so I can stick it out for the long haul.
I would really like to go drug free through this labor. I haven't ever done that before. I have always wanted to do it. My mom had me without drugs. I was the only child she did that way. I think it will be empowering and cathartic to experience the natural pains of bringing a child into the world after having felt the natural pains of returning one to the presence of her Maker.
I hope those around me will help me to be strong when I feel weak and want nothing more than to make the pain go away. I hope I can find my way through the pain and to the joy of birth and new life.
Till that journey through the pain begins, I am left here incubating, waiting, and preparing as best I can.