Sunday, April 26, 2009

Be Believing

"Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another." Doctrine and Covenants 90:24

My sister-in-law Nikki recently sent me a letter/paper her uncle wrote to his children on why bad things happen to good people. He wrote it many, many years ago. I have found it to be faith bolstering and well thought out. He has a few points that I found to be particularly profound. One of the points he makes has to do with the above scripture. 

For those who are not familiar with the "Doctrine and Covenants," it is primarily a book of revelations given to the prophet Joseph Smith from Jesus Christ in the early years of our church's founding. It is part of the LDS Canon of scripture.

In his letter, this man (my sister-in-law's uncle) points out how important "being believing" is to having all things work for our good. I have given this point some thought further. I have often said that even in my lowest moments where my faith is weakest, I have chosen to believe. 

Believe what? Believe that the Lord loves me and knows what will be best for me. Believe that it was Camille's time to leave this Earth. Believe that her death is part of His plan. Believe that somehow this trial - all our trials - will work together for our good. Sometimes that last one is really hard to "believe," especially in those low points that are so filled with pain. But, I have come to realize how much more endurable the pain and trials of this life are when faced with a believing heart and a mind firmly focused by faith.  

I feel best, strongest, most at peace, and most happy when I doubt not but trust in the Lord and BELIEVE that this is part of His plan. Certainly I have had moments of question and doubt over the last 10 months. But those moments are low, depressing, and hopeless. I do not want to live my life in the emotions of those moments. I am SURE the Lord would not have me live my life that way. Therefore, when those moments come, I CHOOSE to believe.

That choice helps immediately to pull me from the dark corners of my mind. And soon my "belief" is confirmed by the sweet peaceful feelings that fill my soul. Often I become so sure in my belief that I am brought out of my grief and can feel to thank the Lord for His work in my life. There is always the missing. But often when I am most "believing" I can see His great work and Camille's part in it. And I feel as if I am the mother of a missionary -- missing my child, but not willing her to be anywhere other than where she is. 

Naturally, these moments of doubt and highs of believing go around and around in cycle. But the further along this path I walk, the more rare the moments of doubt become. And the majority of my time is spent in a sweet, even, peaceful feeling of trust and ... BELIEF. 

8 comments:

Karisa Lynn said...

That was a perfect blog to begin my day. Thank you for the words of inspiration and belief.

Hugs & love,
Karisa

Sharon said...

What a great post. Thank you!

I think, for a lot of us, "being believing" is hard, especially when life is hard. I'm so inspired by you and how you are dealing with your trials. I hope I can be so strong through the trials I am facing and will face in this life.

Thank You!

Rich's said...

Beautifully written! Very inspiring! I am so glad you are in my life!

Loves,
Tif

chanel said...

this post realy hit home for me. i was told at age 26 i couldn't have children, that there was no way ever possible. i already had an 18month old daughter and had ALWAYS been preparing for a big family. when i was given my diagnosis my world collapsed, i have often said it was like seeing all my future children die. it was a horrible grieving process. BUT at some point I too decided to believe, to trust, and to put it all in the Lord's hands. It was such a better way to live, it strengthened my testimony that He does live and He does KNOW us and He is in charge. Since then I have had two more children, miracles in the truest sense of the word. Multiple doctors can't explain it, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Science and anything else in this world can not explain the divine, Heavenly Father's ways or plan. He is there for us for sure, teaching us even through our grief and trials, often that is where He is the closest. Love ya Stephanie!

Amanda said...

That is always been one of the things I've most admired in you, Stephanie. Your solid belief in your faith. I envy you your unshakable faith. The fact that you didn't turn away from everything because this terrible thing happened but turned more into it.

It really does amaze me, truly. I often wonder if I would have your same strength if something similar happened to me. But I do have absolute faith in the fact that if He leads us to it, He'll lead us through it. But sometimes I feel like when I'm going though it I come close to breaking. But I believe that, that to only makes me stronger.

As always you are a constant inspiration to me. Always and everyday, in every way. You are always in my prayers.

Chelsea said...

lately, i feel like i'm meeting trials on every street corner. i feel like i could handle any one of these situations just fine if they were one at a time, but all together it is very, very hard. lots of dark times. it got to the point that i could feel my testimony slipping away. and so i asked myself, what difference would it make to stop going to church? i knew deep, deep inside of me, i still had faith. but near the surface and even slightly deeper than that, i was hurting and struggling and questioning. so what would it change to stop believing? NOTHING! and once i realized that nothing would get better and it likely would get worse when i had nothing to grasp at, the burden felt lighter. i realized that this particular set of trials was one of those forks in the road. i could turn my back on my childhood faith or cling to my last seeds of hope and faith. when i decided to blindly continue and do all i could to trust in God, i began to come through that darkness. nothing has changed in my circumstances. nothing at all. the difference is that i realized, once again, that when given the opportunity to give up, i kept on. it was almost as if i was saying to my trials, bring it on! i dare you to make me give up. and for the first time, i'm actually rejoicing a little bit in my trials, using them to compel me to be stronger and more faithful.

sorry for the long comment. i guess i should post all this on my own blog, huh?

rebecca said...

Stephanie,

This post is beautiful. You explained this scripture so elequently with your "real" example of believing through almost unbearable trials. It's ironic that continuing to believe makes it all bearable. You're a great example. I cannot wait to hear the exciting news of your new arrival - good luck!

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for a long time. I come to read when I need to feel hope. Thanks for giving me a reason to "Believe".