Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Wonders of Being Sick

I have to give a shout out to my awesome sister Lesli. I have not been feeling well and she has helped with the blog, my calling in Young Women's, and today she came over and cleaned my whole kitchen. Les, you are heaven sent.

So this is the first time I have really been sick since Camille died. I was sick when Camille died with a nasal thing that seemed to drag on forever after. Now however, I have been fighting a fever, chills, and body aches. 

The funny thing is, I actually feel so much better inside than I have in a long time. I don't know if I am delirious from the fever, or if it just feels like all the inside pain is taking a backseat to the teeth chattering chills, but I almost feel like my life is -- normal?

How can that be? I don't know. And frankly, I am not too worried about it. I want to get to a place where I feel this way more often. So I am riding it out as long as it will last. 

I have had a few thoughts this week in my deliriously normal mind. We grievers hold on so closely to our grief as if it is the last piece of our child. It feels subconsciously like letting go of the grief is letting go of the child. This is not true. 

God did not allow us to suffer this trial with the intent that we spend the rest of our lives in sorrow. Rather, we are to learn to bear the sorrow with broader shoulders than we thought possible and find joy once more in our lives.  I really believe that I have suffered this trial for purposes so vast that only my Creator knows their entirety.

No it is not the grief we must cling to, it is the love. The trick is that they are so linked. I suppose there will always be sorrow in the separation. That is only natural. But I want my sorrow to be the kind that is over powered by joy. 

Joy in the blessing my daughter was and is to me and my family. Joy in my work here on this earth. Joy in the work my daughter is engaged in beyond the veil. Joy in my other beautiful children. Joy in my relationship with my husband. Joy in the Savior. Joy in the love from all those angels in heaven who have stood by me in every time of need. Joy in the love of a Heavenly Father I trust implicitly.

Enough from my fevered brain. May I share a quote from William Wordsworth:

"There is a comfort in the strength of love;
'T will make a thing endurable, which else
Would overset the brain, or break the heart."


Time is up. This is the end of our three auctions. It is Nie Nie Day today and we feel so grateful to those of you bidders out there who contributed so much for this special cause.

The three winners are as follows:
Item #1: Eye Candy necklace, winner A.P. at $150.00
Item #2: Blush Lavender earrings, winner Jennifer at $60.00
Item #3: Navy Love necklace, winner Maine626 at $135.00

CONGRATULATIONS WINNERS! We hope you love your items and especially the good feeling in your heart that you helped a fellow blogging mamma and her darling Mr. Nielson.

Winners please send an email to and include the following:
1) Your first and last name, 2) mailing address [where you want the item shipped to], 3) your blogsite address if you have one you wish to share

I will email you my paypal account and then you can make payment there. Then when I see your payment has hit the account I will be able to ship out your item. I will donate the total of the three payments to the Nielson's recovery fund via Paypal.
This just seems easiest to do--less steps for everyone involved.

So I look forward to hearing from you winners. And our many many thanks to those of you who participated and even browsed our auctions.

If you would still like to donate to the Nielsons you can do so by clicking on the following Nie Recovery button. It will take you to the official donation site.