Friday, July 18, 2008

Insomnia

I have sleeping issues. I have always had a very hard time falling asleep. Once I am asleep I stay asleep but falling asleep ... well let's just say I am well acquainted with the night. This is apparently a genetic thing. My dad has the same issue and so does a brother of mine. I have two kids who have a hard time falling asleep. One of them stays in her bed waiting to fall asleep. The other ... not so much.

Since the accident, I try to keep my mind occupied until I am so tired I know I will quickly fall asleep. Otherwise, I end up getting too weepy in my bed. My little Ann Marie has been feeling this too. She has wanted to be close to us as she falls asleep. Nearly every night the first two weeks and many nights since, I have laid down beside her while she fell asleep.

This is not something I normally would do. I know some moms stay with their kids till they fall asleep every night. I am not that mom. My kids can be awake for hours just sitting in the dark waiting to fall asleep. So can I. Usually I let them read in their beds if they don't feel tired yet. This is far less boring for us all.

Still, under the circumstances, I have laid with her many nights. And I have been trying to wean her off that need to have me close for her to sleep. In the last couple of weeks we have found her asleep in some fairly unique places or positions.


Here she was just out of my sight at the bottom of the stairs on the hard tile sound asleep with her bear "Gigan" and her blankie. Doesn't this just look so uncomfortable?


Jon captured this photo a few nights back. It just about broke my heart. She had been down to see us downstairs and we could tell she was tired so we sent her back up to bed. She made it to the top step, and not wanting to be where she couldn't hear us, she knelt down and fell asleep.


Sabrina and Ann Marie share a room. They do each have their own beds, however. Sabrina says she can't sleep without Annie in the room. Annie loves to be covered in animals and close to her sister.


This was after we came home from a night out and relieved the babysitter. Sabrina is a deep and crazy sleeper. She travels all over the bed in the night. Annie got wise here and chose to sleep in the pillows next to Sabrina's bed. Annie must have been missing Camille. That is Camille's favorite soft and silky blanket she is cuddling (the purple one). She needed some physical contact with Sabrina to comfort her so she took her hand and held it as she fell asleep.

I guess I better go check my little insomniac now. I sent her to bed before I started this post because I could tell she was finally tired enough to fall asleep. I am getting there myself.

Sleep is a beautiful thing. It is the one place I can go and rest my sorrowed soul. In dreams anything is possible. In dreams, I can see my daughter and hold her and play with her. In dreams, I can see her flying though the air being tossed between her Uncle Aaron and and her Daddy. In dreams, I too can fly.