Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Secret Journals

A very good friend of mine Molly, is a family therapist now. I visited with her a bit to evaluate whether or not to do family counseling after Camille's death. While we ultimately concluded that at least for now counseling wasn't necessary, she gave me some great ideas to do with my girls.

One of these has been having a secret journal for each girl. Each girl has their own journal. They can write their thoughts or feelings in it and put it under my pillow for me to read. Then I write back to them and put it under their pillow. 

My girls have loved having secrets with me. Now none of their secrets are juicy. Most are wondering if we can play Clue together "next day" or ideas of where we can go on vacation next. But I love that they have a place to communicate more privately with me. 

I think secret journals are a great idea. Thanks for the journals and the suggestion, Molly.

So, if you had a secret journal with your Heavenly Father, how would what you write differ from how you currently pray?  Just throwing that out there for thought. I don't have my own answer to that yet. Just another of my deep questions to ponder for the night.

21 comments:

lyn. said...

I'll let you know...

MelancholySmile said...

I love that idea. I might have to try it with my daughter. As for how it would differ from how I currently pray, I'm not sure about that. But I do know that my secret prayers tend to be more heartfelt, honest, and... long. :)

Kevin and Jamie said...

The good news is,personal prayer is like having a secret journol with our Heavenly Father. I feel like I can go to Him in prayer for anything. What peace this brings.
I love the idea of the secret journol with our children. I have an 11 year old daughter who seems to be growing up way to fast. I will try this out.

Holly said...

Thank you so much for the wonderful idea. I have a 12 and 10 year old daughters and I feel like we have always had a good relationship, until recently. I can feel my 12 year old becoming her own young woman. I am sad and happy at the same time. This will be a perfect way to bond with her.

I would hope that my prayers are like a secret journal to the Lord. He knows all, and I know that.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Jennie said...

I do this with my kids. I write them a question, or tell them something. They answer me back, and have to ask me a question as well. They each have their own journal, and I love looking back on their thoughts, and questions. Children are so wise and insightful. I think it is a great benchmark to see how you are progressing, and also just remembering your children's thought process. I have a son that looks at everything in a different light. I LOVE that about him, and can see it in his journal writings. Thank you for your thoughts- I appreciate them so much.

Laura said...

I love that journal idea. I think I'll do the same with my 10 year old daughter. What a wonderful way to stay connected and make them feel special.

Hmmmm, gonna have to think about the secret journal with God question. I would like to think that he knows all my deep thoughts and feelings without me having to even speak of them.

Leslie said...

I love the idea of secret journals with our kids. My 9yo daughter has a pad of inspirational sayings we bought from CVS and she likes to write notes on them and pass them out to family members. I think she would love a way to pass notes under our pillows and her twin brother could use more methods to communicate since he's already got a lot of the male communication style in him already. :-)

Hope you are having a good day.

Rachel said...

What a great idea! It seems like yesterday my girls were on my lap at least 22 hours a day, and sometimes I look at them now and feel so distant. I'm happy they've grown so independent, it's what they're supposed to do, but sometimes I suspect that I take advantage of that too much, ignore them too much to do my own thing. I've been thinking that I need to find a way to connect with them individually, I think they'll love this idea.
As for your last idea, I think I'll actually try it. I tend to get distracted in prayer, my mind too easily wanders from one thing to another. I think writing things down would help me stay focused.

janalee said...

I feel like Moroni- mighty in word, but weak in writing. :)So, for me, praying to my Father works better.

Candi said...

Thank you for sharing your family with all of us. I have loved reading your blog. You might have already read this blog but in case you haven't she is also another great writer. www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com

Micaela said...

That's such a cool idea.

Thanks for the thought provoking question at the end, I've really been thinking about that.

Mandi said...

thanks for the thoughts. Very good one. I would probably do it a lot different. I will have to make that change. Thanks again and thanks for the email.

Mimi's Toes said...

I was just thinking before I started reading this post that I have a new journal I received for my birthday and I am going to start writing in it as my secret journal. This is so bizarre that I would think this before opening up your post. I am amazed at how well your family is doing. You are so strong and I so admire you, Stephanie.

Marleen said...

I love Molly's idea. Something not only something to communicate differently with your children with but also something to look back on and cherish.

Julie said...

Stephanie, this is what I mean when I say you are a blessing! Having a friend like you only strengthens me. It's an added plus when we get to "steal" ideas on parenting and shepherding our children's hearts.

I LOVE the idea of a prayer journal. With each child I become busier (we homeschool too) and I am going to integrate this as soon as we master our handwriting and reading!

Secrets from the Lord... I know sometimes I "omit" a thing or two- who am I kidding! Certainly not Him! He knows me inside out and most importantly, loves me completely unconditionally... Thank you for reminding me to be 100% open and all-inclusive in my prayers.

Your friend,
Julie
Sacramento

Heidi said...

Holy smokes, I love that idea! I wish my son was old enough to do that. (16 months might be a wee bit early...). :)

And good food for thought on how prayer vs. a journal would be different.

Sara said...

I just had to say that I had a secret journal with my mom when I was a young girl. I am now 27 and my mother is my best friend. When my father was killed when I was 16, I wish that I had had the right frame of mind to continue the journal with my mother. I am grateful for women like you and my mother, that in the face of adversity, still look to your dear Father in Heaven and set such a wonderful example to your children. They will always be eternally grateful for the sacrifices you make, and for the example of greatness you are!

Erica said...

I love that idea. I don't have kids yet, but will try to remember that great idea. You have really made me think about the praying part. I will be pondering all evening long.

Stacy said...

I love that idea! Thank you for sharing that! When I read your question I started thinking about all the things I would pray about and all the things I would ask Him about if I maybe thought of it more as a journal. Thank you for that question. We need to be more open and praying about the things that Really are on our mind.

Love to bake said...

I love this idea. I'm going to try it with my daughter who is 8 going on 13. Thank you for sharing this :)

Christy said...

Dear Stephanie.
I am from a very small town in Oregon. I stumbled on your blog when a coworker found it. She said, hey i know you are LDS and I want you to read this blog. Well 3 hours later and lots of tears plus... I became hooked. I check on you every day. I have to tell you i bought my 5 daughters journals and this morning I found one under my bed to answer. I was so excited. Thanks for your blog. You'll never know how it has helped me
Christy