Sunday, July 6, 2008

Calling All Angels

This is the photo we choose to be on Camille's grave.  Man I miss that little face, that sweet smile, her laugh, her kisses, the way she loved to tuck her head under my chin, the little bit of chunk on her thigh that I used to pat, the annoying half scream half yell she would let out when she was frustrated. I miss it all. I just miss her. 

My sister in law Elizabeth shared this song with me. It is by Jessie Clark Funk. It pretty much hit the spot.  I put it to a video/slideshow. Give it a listen.

video

65 comments:

munyer jerk chicken said...

What a beautiful photo you chose. And the song is beautiful, too. I love reading your blog, Steph. You are not only a talented writer, but an honest mom, too. Thanks for continuing to write. I know you say it's therapy for you, but it's therapy for me, too!

Sleepless In St. George said...

Simply beautiful.

Shanan said...

absolutely beautiful. beautiful song. beautiful little Camille.

Rhonda said...

That is precious. So nicely done too.

Amanda said...

She truly is a beautiful angel.

The Howick Family said...

I don't know how anyone can watch that without bawling!! I still check your blog everyday. You and your family are amazing. She is a darling little angel!

Anonymous said...

Sweet Stephanie:

That video clip moved to me tears. What a sweet & precious keepsake of your wee Angel. It's so awesome that Camille's "birdbath" is featured - from everything I've read about her, this shot captures her essence like no other.

Memories are God's snapshots. Each of us has our very own custom albulm -- the untimate scrapbook. Ours for eternity.

Carolyn said...

Oh Stephanie. How tender and sweet and precious Camille is. I'm glad I didn't have my makeup on yet because I would have had to redo it.

Sarah Striblen said...

Thank you for sharing. Oh, how your heart must just break. I know mine is.

Heather said...

There is no words... simply beautiful.

XO

Liz's Blog said...

Steph,
The video is beautiful. You do have a beautiful Angel! The song is a perfect fit!
Loves,
Liz

ThatsMe!! said...

I have been reading your blog for a few weeks.. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Camille..Your blog has touched my heart and soul ......The sideshow this morning has me in tears the pictures, the video, the song I am just a teary mess beautiful just beautiful ......

Just me! said...

Simply amazing!!!

A far away mom said...

Thank you for sharing. How sweet and touching. My heart aches for you all. I will hold you close in prayer.

Just A Mom (call me JAM for short) said...

Any words I might say seem so inadequate given what you are going through. Although I feel I must thank you for sharing with me, your family, faith, honesty and above all your sweet angel Camille. The picture you chose and the song and video of Camille are truly beautiful. My prayers are with you and your family to help lessen that ache in your hearts.

Just me! said...

The sweet picture of Camille in the cupboard keeps going through my mind. She was so happy!! It was HER space. And then my mind sees the picture of the cupboard without Camille. It breaks my heart.

Deb said...

I am so sorry. You truly have a beautiful angel. With tears in my eyes I feel I miss her too and I never even met her. Thanks for sharing your beautiful daughter with us.

Marylin and Jimmy said...

What an amazing video, so sweet. I loved the song, who is the artist? There is a song that helped our friends when they lost their daughters, it's by Hilary Weeks called He'll Carry You. You may have already heard it. Music has such a way of letting us feel our Heavenly Father's love. So sorry for you loss.

MaryClaire said...

I heard that song on the radio this morning as I was getting everyone ready for church, and I literally stopped what I was doing because I couldn't help but think of you...and cry. For some reason my emotions have been so close to the surface today. I've felt such an immense gratitude for our heavenly father's plan and for my own family. I've felt, as another friend of mine describes it, "heaven homesick" just this longing to be home with Him in His arms. I know you now feel that way every day. I bore my testimony because I couldn't hold it in about how this tragedy has made me a better mom and a better daughter of God. I'm so grateful for that, I'm so grateful for Camille, and I'm so grateful for you and your willingness to share her with us.
LOVE YOU!

Jim & Allison said...

Beautiful.Almost too much for me to watch.What a sweet little angel,Camille.

Josh and Betsie said...

What a beautiful song and video. I have found strength in your blog to go through each day with my children. To be grateful for each one of them and to cherish each day I have with them. I am so sorry for your loss of camille. She is a beautiful little girl. May Heavenly father continue to give you strength each day. I would love to know who sings that song.

Rach said...

Yes, I miss it all too. Thank you for sharing that beautiful song with us.

HUGS to you, Steph.

tharker said...

Dear Stephanie,
You don't know me, but I just want to take a moment to give my condolences to you and your family. There are no words that I can say accept that I am truly sorry for the loss of your sweet little girl.

This song was a beautiful tribute to your daughter.

After reading through the several posts that you have written since the passing of your baby girl, I was so touched by your faith and testimony in our Heavenly Father's plan. Thank you for sharing your faith and strength.

Lloyd & Leslie said...

Just beautiful. Very beautiful.

Leslie Wiley

Laurie said...

Gorgeous job! Love the song and the video/pictures. I hope that while watching it wonderful memories fill your heart. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

JOSH AND LISA MCINTYRE said...

Sweet little angel.......

Kristin Baldwin said...

I hope you don't mind me commenting but I feel changed after coming across your blog. Camille is sweet and precious. I cannot imagine your loss. I just wanted to thank you for sharing yourself and Camille with strangers like me. I will never look in my daughter's eyes the same way. Thank you and I pray that your family will feel the Savior's love always.

zuniga family said...

I am a friend of Julie Presley's and was directed to read your blog. My heart goes out to you and your family. That video was absolutely beautiful. You seem like such a strong person. Thank you for posting your feelings. It makes my feel so grateful to be a member of the church and it strengthens my testimony about the plan of salvation!
Vicki

ALS said...

Thank you , Thank you. This is just beautiful, what a wonderful tribute. My prayers are often drawn to you and your family, I am grateful for your strength. Love, Amy Thiriot Sorensen

kristi lee said...

There is nothing that speaks more strongly to me than music. I hear her pain and yet at the same time a powerful sense of comfort in the lyrics too. Although I'm a total stranger to you, I hope you know of my hope that you are finding some sort of comfort during your pain too.

Amanda said...

Stephanie- you are a rock! Not a days goes bye that I don't pray for you and look forward to reading your blog. I am so greatful for the gospel and that we will get to be with our loved ones again. The pic you choose is beautiful- everything about it is breathtaking just as I am sure your sweet baby was and still is. HANG IN THERE! I know you have ups and down and thank you so much for putting yourself out there for the rest of us to grow and know that you are going to be okay (not saying you don't have hard times) you just have a PERFECT way with with to touch all of us!

Marleen said...

Thank you for sharing the video clip. I've been missing Cami Camille. I love that song. Who is the artist? It fits so well with Camille.

Hoskins Family said...

What a great blessing to have so many beautiful picutres of Camille. The song is so touching. Thank you for sharing the clip...it is so moving. Miss you all, love Daleen

Let Your Hair Down said...

I have been been reading your blog now for a couple of weeks. Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us. I grow each and everyday from your faith. I think you and your family are truly amazing! Your girls are beautiful! That slideshow was just perfect, Camille is truly an angel. You, Camille, and your family are reaching more people then I think you will ever know. Thank you! Thank you! Lizzy Rigby (AZ)

www.adorn-jewelry.blogspot.com said...

love you steph- em

jen said...

stephanie,
i know you have had a million comments from strangers... i just wanted to add one more! i too have been following your blog and i have to tell you that you are my sister. my sister in the gospel, my sister in motherhood.
i feel so connected to you. i have boobed and bawled for you, and not the pretty crying either- the kind where snot comes out of your nose and your whole face blotches up!
i have two sweet little boys and i can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. your testimony and your strength has penetrated my soul. thank you for strengthening my own testimony. thank you for helping me to remember that when things are hard, they could be much harder and to hold my babies close! thank you for putting my children's true worth into perspective... they are my equals and my brothers. they are future missionaries and leaders of this great gospel. they are future priesthood holders. its time i looked at them the way you have taught me to! it is so easy to get annoyed or feel stressed out while raising children. we have lived in singapore for 9 months and i am still so homesick! i feel sorry for myself far too much. because of you, i am picking myself up and being the kind of mother my kids deserve!
i love you. God loves you. you are amazing.

Anonymous said...

bless your heart for sharing this with everyone, your blog is so inspirational thankyou so much, my prayers are with your family.

Chell said...

Hi Steph, I found your blog through someone elses and have just read through the whole thing. I am sitting in South Africa, at my desk at work and am in tears. Your strength amazes me and gives others who have to deal with loss something to look up to. You are a truely amazing woman. May the Lord uplift you and your family. God bless Rochelle x

Beth said...

Lovely...simply beautiful. A prayer in music and pictures. God bless.

Anonymous said...

That just about broke my heart.
I don't "know" you but I check in on you and your family.
I wish I had the words to express what I feel.

I wanted to share another song I love. It's called Brand New Wings. You can listen to it here
http://www.peterbrandon.net/music.htm

The Seeley Family said...

Stephanie,
You don't know me and I don't know you, but I have felt your spirit so strong, I just had to thank you. You are such a strong woman! I can feel you testimony and faith so much. I have hugged my children more and cherished my time with them more since I found your blog. Thank you for putting things into perseptive for me. You are such a strong mom. Thank you for sharing your wonderful testimony with all of us. This song was so beautiful. And your children are so precious.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Sorry I told you about Molly, but forgot to leave her blog. It is jacksonparkcity.blogspot.com. The video of Camille is so beautiful. Thankyou for sharing it with us. You are an amazing mother and daughter of god. You are in my prayers. M

Caragirl said...

Stephanie,
I have not commented on your blog yet, but have followed your story from the beginning. I just want to say Thank you for sharing your daughter with all of us, you truly lift me up each day.
My brother and his wife lost their 9 month old daughter 4 years ago, it has been really hard, harder then any of us onlookers could even imagine. I know she has gained strenght from you as I have, and am so grateful to you for sharing so much of your life and testimony with us. The plan of salvation is real and we are truly blessed to have the gospel in our lives.
I think of your family often, and my heart aches for you, but I also know the power of the atonement, and the hope it gives you. So, Thank you again for your daily scoop, I look forward to it daily.

julesttdmom said...

Steph,
How perfect to describe your perfect little angel. Thanks for sharing. Just wanted to let you know that the LB 1st has been showering your family with prayers. We all love and miss y'all and have a special place for you all in our hearts.
BIG HUGS,
Julie

carrie said...

I don't know you personally, either...but have been so touched by your story. Your strength and testimony is amazing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with all of us. We have all learned so much from you. Your daughter Camille is a beautiful little girl....and she will never be forgotten. You have taught me to love my kids a little more....and hug them a little longer. Life is so precious. Thank you for reminding me of that....and for the strength you've shown. I loved what you wrote about never doubting your Father in Heaven and what he has planned for us. I have desperately needed some reminders of that lately. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sharing your painful story with so many. It has been heartbreaking to read....and your family has been in our thoughts and prayers. You clearly have the spirit with you as you live...and as you write. Saying you are an example to us all is an understantement.

Scott&Mandi said...

The video and song of Camille is just too much! It is so beautiful and touching! I know you've probably heard this before, but in reading your blog, I feel such a connection to you. You are constantly in my prayers. I wish there was more I could do. Please let me know. I hope today can be a good day for you.
Mandi

deette said...

A beautiful tribute to an Angel who, in her short life, touched the lives of so many.

Shaundee said...

I have kept from commenting on your blog for so long, but I feel I can't hold it back any longer. You don't know me and I don't know you, but somehow I can't get this situation out of my mind. I cry for you and the absolute pain you must feel. Pain I can't even begin to understand. I pray for you. That you might feel my love and the love of our Heavenly Father. I feel that I came across you blog and read of your experience in a time of my life that I needed a new perspective. Thank you for changing me. For giving me a new perspective. I will never look at my children the same way again. I will never look at mundane trials in my life the same way again. You are a strength to me. We don't even know each other, but somehow my heart aches for you. This little girl must have been something pretty special. And I believe you and your family must have been pretty special to have been given a chance to be in her life. I only hope one day I will be able to meet you and thank you for giving me strength. Thank you again.

Noelle said...

Stephanie-

A friend of mine posted a link to your blog and I have spent the entire morning reading and weeping in sorrow for your familys'loss. I am so amazed at your singular faith and your ability to put into words your feelings and emotions. I can truly feel your spirit going through a sanctifying as I read your words.

I have 3 precious children of my own and your writing has made me hug and kiss mine all the more and feel such gratitiude that I have them each and everyday.

Although I am a stranger to you and your family I add my prayers to all the others, that the Lord will continue to uplift you, sustain you and heal your hearts.

Thank you for sharing; you have touched my heart so deeply.
Love-Noelle

Coleman family said...

that was a beautiful slide show!! thanks you for sharing your little angel with us!!

Lisa said...

I saw that you do not mind unknown visitors to your blog and so I wanted to tell you that I have been richly inspired and moved by your words and pictures of sweet Camille. I know that probably nothing anyone says makes it better, but just know that your eternal perspective and lovely sentiments are changing people. They've changed me. I look at my children differently. I feel different as a mother. Thank you. Know that you are being prayed for by a complete stranger--we don't know each other, but we know the gospel and share that truth in common.

Stephanie said...

What a beautiful video and song. By sharing your loss, journey, sorrow and strength I feel such a connection to you and your sweet little Camille. I know she was met in heaven by many loved ones that went before her and through your efforts, not only will she be met by her beloved family one day, but there are many others waiting to greet her with love.

The picture you choose is beautiful. I love her dress and how it matches Jon's tie. Jon looks like a proud papa and she looks so happy. Good choice!

s & g said...

What a beautiful song E picked out. I loved the slideshow and the beautiful pics of Camille, she looks so cute and happy in the drawer, I love that you have that memory to hold on to!!

Love your posts...and I must say those desserts made my mouth water, Greg and I are BIG fans of decadent chocolate desserts...yumm!

Elizabeth Forscutt said...

Stephanie,
You don't know me. I wanted to thank you for changing my life. I will look at my sweet baby for now and always differently. Thank you for being such a loving and positive person.
Elizabeth

Twinkletoes said...

Beautiful! I adore the video! The song is amazingly perfect!

sharing our love song said...

I dont even know you and you're the most amazing women I have ever known. Your story has changed my life and I want to Thank you for your words. The most beautiful Angel I have ever seen. I believe sometimes God brings his little children home to him so soon because he just misses them to much. Camille must have been unbelievable. I admire everything about you. Thank You again and Im so sorry.

Nicole said...

Hi,
you have so many comments you probably don't read all of these but I wanted to let you know, I am a friend of Kristin (Krissy) and Rob and she told me about your little sweet Camille, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I could say something more but I truly am sorry, I have a little girl named Ellie, I think she is close to your little ones age, 16 months....I can't even imagine. I loved this song, I sobbed through the whole thing! I love your video and pictures, she truly is an Angel.. I am so Happy you have all these wonderful pictures to share with all of us. Good luck with everything....Nicole

Kelsi said...

What a beautiful tribute to your beautiful angel! I know I am a stranger,but I have been so sad for your loss and inspired by your strength! Your testimony has strengthened mine! You are an amazing Mother and writer! I have been praying for you and your family! May the Lord bless you! Love, Kelsi

Anonymous said...

I feel absolutely compelled to comment on the picture you chose for Camille's resting site.

The out-stretched little palm of her left hand holds such deep symbolic meaning for me - perhaps for others as well. She truly epitomizes "calling all Angels".

Such a precious cherub!

Hannah LaRue said...

Thank you for sharing. Your strength amazes me.

e said...

steph--
I finally got a chance to watch this and I am just in love with camille. my emotion was stirred up all over again, missing camille but KNOWING she is happy and well cared for. I love you, sister. I am so glad the world now knows how incredible you are. have a happy saturday. I assume you'll get to see berk and sean. When I asked berk what he wanted to do-- go to the cabin or be with saby, he quickly chose his cousin. I will be glad to hug you again in about a week. xoxo -e

Camille said...

that was amazing. your ability to share her with all of us is incredible. she truly is an angel. xo

KEYLIMER said...

Love that photo of Camille. Her cute little teeth showing in her beautiful smile. Good choice!

Alisa Ashby

Kat said...

How could I not leave a comment after watching this video and listen to this song along with it...she TRULY is an angel! Music is so powerful and I definitely felt the spirit while watching this video. You don't know me, but I am glad I have gotten to know you and your sweet family through this blog. You have such a positive perspective through such a hard time. The Lord never makes mistakes, although it may seem like it when he chooses to take your precious baby back home, it is that knowledge that would have to help get me through. Thanks to this blog I will hug my 5 month girl and my 2.5 year old daughter tighter and hold them longer!

Bryce & Cortney Alvord said...

Stephanie-

This is the first day that I have visted your blog. Someone posted about it and I felt compelled to read. I want to say that your little girls are abosolutely beautiful. The strength in the gospel that you have found is truely amazing. You have inspired me to be a better person. I am not yet a mother but I have 2 1/2 year old twin brother & sister that my parents just adopted. I know what that would do to me for them and I know the love a mother is so much stronger. Thank you for sharing and for writing and for helping us all be better people.

Love,
Your sister in the gospel
Cortney